For those of you who missed Monday Meditation, we talked about self care. Hopefully we all have some sort of self-care plan… yoga on Tues, meditation on Thurs, eat right, drink water, etc. But I proposed to the group a little different self-care plan. This one is directed at those moments when we find ourselves panicked, anxious or angry. I’m guessing you’ve had an experience (or perhaps two ;)) standing in line at a store and it’s taking forever and it seems that everyone is just making you NUTS? Or of course, there’s that driver ahead of you who knows not how to drive? You know those moments, when you’re seething or frightened or beating yourself up over something less than perfect you did.
These are the self-care moments I’m talking about. At these stressful times, what we do and what we say to ourselves, can either help us or hurt us. Replaying some negative scenario or allowing the angry voice in your head to scream, “What’s wrong with these people??!!” actually is harmful to you. It causes anxiety and stress to escalate- blood pressure spikes, breathing is shallow and your body goes into “fight or flight” mode. So instead of adding fuel to the physiological “fire,” I propose we take action to calm ourselves. Yes… it’s possible and can actually be very effective.
First, acknowledge that you’re not taking care of yourself when you’re angry, fearful or anxious. Practice turning your focus in during stressful times. Generally what is outside of you is not within your control, but the inside that is where you can affect positive changes.
Second, realize that “it is what it is” and likely this situation is out of your control. If it’s a person or situation you find yourself with and you can’t walk away, acknowledge that you can’t change things. If you are replaying a past event or projecting a negative scenario in the future, both of those aren’t anything you can control.
And thirdly, take care of yourself. How? Begin with a breath. Taking a deep inhalation is always a good step. Breathe in oxygen as well as peace or calm in your imagination. And when you exhale, let go of a bit of anger, anxiety or stress. Breathe in the good, let go of the yuck. Continue breathing, keeping your attention on your insides. It helps you begin to detach from whatever was stressing you. You can breathe and drive…. breathe while waiting in line… just breathe. One of my meditation teachers challenged me years ago to try to hang onto fear or anger while breathing deeply. I tried… but have yet to prove him wrong. Breathing just makes you feel better. A deep breath defuses the flight or fight mode while shallow, rapid breathing feeds it.
Once you’ve detached a bit from the situation that is stressing you and you’re breathing fully, it’s time to visualize something that makes you happy. You don’t need to sit in lotus position with eyes closed to visualize but it does help to practice the “happy place” visualization when you are some where calm and comfortable. That was what we did today in meditation… explored our happy places. Often people love the feeling of sun on their face, the sound of the ocean, a walk in the woods. I imagine standing in a hot shower and the water is washing alway all my stress. It is amazing what even a few moments of positive visualization can do to your emotional state. Learn to take care of yourself by practicing replaying happy experiences in your mind.
So take care of you, especially when you find yourself in a stressful space. Make the decision to take care of yourself regardless what is going on around you. Let go of the uncontrollable, and turn your attention within. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Then visualize something lovely… a place, a positive result, the sun on your face. If you were attached to some sort of monitoring device, likely you’d watch your breathing rate and pulse slow and your blood pressure drop. But it doesn’t take any special equipment to realize that you feel better… calmer, stronger and able to cope.
You might not know… but start looking for signs… that your calmness (as well as your anger) affects those around you. Whether you vocalize your joy (or your frustration) or not, that energy can be felt by others. The office, your home and the world around us need your positive energy and your joy. So in helping yourself, you help others. Help me make the world a better place to live… even one deep breath can help.
Have fun!
su
ps. The image above is “Go with the flow” by me.
Do we ever learn? YES!!
Running an art gallery showing 20+ artists has been an amazing learning experience. My artwork is here as is the work of others. I always try to show all the artists, tell all their stories and let the client decide what speaks to them.
Today a group designing a new office lobby came in. They were interested in one piece by another artist but were headed back to another gallery to buy a few pieces they had seen there first. They had noticed my work but decided that they thought they wanted a piece by another artist. I’m happy, thinking they will be back.
But after they had gone, I looked at the piece that was preferred and wondered what my work is missing? Maybe my work needs to be more complex? Maybe putting some of my work in frames would help? etc etc.
Then the tiny voice within said, “this is what you do… you don’t need to be someone else.” And I did relax and go on with the day.
Maybe an hour later, the group was back and in the end commissioned four paintings to be made… by me. As they had decided that my work had just what they wanted. And I had to smile… inside and outside. While, of course, I’m grateful for the commissions but I’m particularly grateful for that tiny voice in my head (or is it in my heart) that says… you are okay, just as you are. I attribute that voice partly to age and experience… as I certainly didn’t have that voice when I was younger. The voice that blasted thru my head generally told me I wasn’t good enough. And now, the “not good enough” voice does still live in my head but she’s more like a doddering old lady, muttering in the corner. And to me, that is truly cause for celebration!!!
Believe in yourself… you’re the only you that there is.
Mother, please?!
Happy mid February, especially to my neighbors here in Ohio. We certainly have had a “real” winter here this year. Lots of cold, fair amounts of snow… even I have uttered those familiar mid-Febrary words, “Enough, already?!”
Somehow one of the little voices in my head reminded me today that spending time in nature is so nurturing, healing and calming for us. Well, I know that’s true when the weather is beautiful but surely not in February? Well, our mother… mother Nature doesn’t go south for the winter. Her power, her beauty and her wisdom do still abound regardless of the season.
So, we can bundle up and take a brisk walk. But often I find that taking a “gazing break” is also very helpful. Gazing out the window at winter’s wonders is also very comforting. Studying the intricacies of a snowflake or pondering the interesting shapes which have evolved on my patio as a result of pots and rocks and who knows what else got left out there under all the snow. Savor the brilliant colors of birds, stark black branches and brilliant white snow.
Bringing some green indoors is also a lovely solution. I have some new basil which I hope will sprout soon in my south facing studio windows. Or just try spending some more time with those green friends who already might be sharing your indoors.
Art showing nature is also a good solution. I chose an image from Katie Balas’ show at the gallery to share here. Katie told me she chose this color palette to combat her winter doldrums. Heck the article below mentions that just staring at a green rectangle can encourage creativity more than any other color? So I encourage you to enjoy the season, however suits you best. Allow your positive thoughts to lift you up, brighten your day regardless of the season.
Image from Katie Balas, “Forest of Souls”. Katie’s show is at Journey Art Gallery thru March 13, 2014, JourneyArtGallery.com
Wholeness
Welcome to the new year. I LOVE this time of year. So exciting to imagine what’s coming.
I just got home from leading a meditation/ chanting gathering. I was reminded there about our topic last month which has been affecting me in a positive way. Thought I’d share.
That topic was Vipassana, mindfulness and the aspect of non-duality in this practice. But rather than wax all Eastern and guru-ish, let me say it’s about wholeness.
Vipassana means to see things as they really are. The idea of non-duality to me is about being one, about being complete within ourselves. We don’t need to have a “bad kid” mentality about part of ourselves. In our gathering, the example was when our mind wanders in meditation, we may think, “Dang… there I go again, When will I grow out of this?” Rather, we can gather our mind back to us, like we might pull a small puppy we’re training back to us… with love that this being or this aspect of ourselves is part of our whole and we can love it. We’ll entertain the thought that all parts of our self, our mind, our personalities serve a purpose.
There was a tv show in the early 90’s called Hermans Head. In that show they explored the concept of a “committee” of varied personalities that “lived” in one man’s head. There were men and women, laid back and uptight, accomplished and insecure. And the show just had fun with how all those personalities contributed/ or took away from Herman’s daily life, activities and decisions. I think many of us can identify with having different parts of our personality. Some of us even totally can relate to the committee concept in our head. Non-duality/ wholeness calls us to see all those aspects of ourselves as good and needed. There’s no part of us that we need to think about as having to get rid of. We may not choose to take action on what each and every part of ourselves may think about… but having all the parts there is a good thing.
So today I encourage you to start loving all the pieces parts of yourself, accepting all those as facets of a more beautiful whole.
It takes us “off the hook” (thanks Jenny) for parts of our personality and frees up that much more energy to enjoy this moment.
Happy new year. Savor this moment… this very moment as it’s all we really have.
much love
namaste
and
HAVE FUN!
s
Kindness and other news
Local Canton folks know of Taggarts Ice Cream Parlor & Restaurant. This local landmark and maker of great memories was robbed this week by a trio of young men. The establishment, the patrons, the wait staff… all threatened, terrified and robbed. It’s a frightening thing to hear about. And while I hear a few of the expected “if I got my hands on those thugs…” the much louder response was “let’s go help.” The day after the crime, people took action in love and went to Taggart’s. They bought ice cream and gift certificates. They waited in line for tables. They brought cash and spent it– to help, to love, to remind the victims that our community supports.
As a business owner in downtown Canton, sometimes I wonder… was this a good idea to open a gallery in this small town struggling to reinvent itself? Yesterday, my dear neighbor Maranda stopped by the gallery. We were talking about Taggart’s and she said to me, “If I could just find them, I would…” and I cringed a bit… then she finished,” If I could just find them, I would hug them. That’s what they need. Probably no one has ever taught them how to love.” And my eyes grew misty, and I knew that yes, indeed, it is a good idea to open a business where more and more people believe that we can change things through positive choices, by pulling together and by finding a way to love.
Gallery events
Annette Poitau, oil painter, has a amazing show of her work at the gallery thru Jan. 3. Large, colorful abstracts, small series paintings and limited edition prints.
Holiday Tree Show– 10 artists, 10 trees, 10 expressions of holiday joy. Trees for sale at $175 each (a tax deductible donation to Journey Scholarship Fund). And we encourage you to vote for your favorite tree at 25 cents per vote. The artist of the vote winning tree receives the vote money given to their tree. We start taking offers on unsold trees on Dec 15th.
Trunk Show of jewelry from Linda Grubb this Friday and Saturday nights. Appetizers, wine, cheese
Black Friday and Small Business Saturday we’re open 12-9pm. You’ll find amazing gift shopping all over the Downtown Arts District.
Image= “Oneness” by su ni at http://www.JourneyStudios.com
put joy on the priority list?
It’s a lovely day and I’ve got way too much to do. So will make this hopefully short and sweet.
I’ve been worrying too much lately- waking up in the middle of the night remembering this or that, tasks to complete, new ideas to follow down. It takes awhile to get myself centered again to fall back to sleep.
This morning a friend shared this video with me, Welcome to Earth timelapse by Luc Bergeron.
http://www.wimp.com/earthtimelapse/
Watching it somehow calms me… perhaps it’s just the reminder that the universe is so vast and contains so much beauty. Perhaps my “little” to-do list isn’t really what life is about. Oddly, just a few minutes after watching this video, while pondering how to tip the balance back towards more joy and away from less worry… I received the news that a friend’s dad had died suddenly. So sad and surprising… but follows the same train of thought to me.
Our time here on this mostly beautiful orb is limited…
so rather than worrying our way thru life…
I challenge you to put joy at the top of your to-do list!
Love, peace, comfort and light
s
Image- Change can be beautiful, 30 x 40 acrylic on canvas by me
A foot in both worlds
I attended a workshop yesterday. I need to escape the routine and be in different places with different people from time to time. While I learned a bit, enjoyed a lot… I find that I came away pondering the existence of opposites… male and female, good and evil, black and white, what was and what will be, the good guys and the bad guys. The existence of these seemingly opposite things creates a balance of sorts… and one can’t be inherently good and the other bad.
“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918-1956
If you know me, you know I don’t watch television and generally avoid the news. But of course, I hear thru internet or personal interaction about the issues that are worrying the people around me. Health care, war, the environment… many people have that “issue” that they can’t help but want to tell you all about. And as they’re talking, they’re getting more animated and passionate, but generally not in a positive way. And as they talk, I find myself stepping back.
It’s not that I don’t care about the issues that concern people today, it’s just that I don’t think I have the power to change them by discussion or physical actions. I maintain that there’s good and bad sides to any issue… and I don’t want to spend a lot of time debating the details. Instead I’d prefer to look within… and find those areas in my own spirit that are agitated or angry. I can have an effect on those. And if I devote my energy to opening my heart, shining a positive, peaceful, even joyful light to the world around me… I believe it makes a difference. When more of us put our energy and focus on finding our true selves, then pursuing our own life’s mission… that positive energy will be something palpable, real, effective and it CAN change the world.
I don’t think evil exists… if there is something that is blocking my path to true happiness, it lies within me. I’m going to get busy clearing the obstacles that I throw in my own path. Raising my energy level, seeing the world from perhaps a more spiritual perspective just might have more benefit for the world than I know. And when I forget, spin around in circles and shake my fist at the sky… I’ll try to remember that is just part of it too. Hopefully, I’ll try not to spend a lot of time spinning. It just makes me dizzy? 😉
Peace and light to you…
and Have FUN!
su
image- “A Foot in Both Worlds” by me.
My birthday wish
I went looking for the “right” quote for my day. One of my favorite authors is Rob Brezsny. I adore his book “Pronoia.” It’s kind of a bible for people who want to cast off the old and revel in the new, who are tired of fighting and ready to dance on the lightness of life. Yes, those are my words, not his, but I hope he’s “rubbing off” on me.
Instead of a perfect short quote, appropriate for our Facebook/twitter communications, I found this. Too long, perhaps. Too convoluted, even confusing? Brazen, irreverent and it even contains a few bad words. But worthy, I think, for its expression of love and for the author’s lovely freedom to speak as moved to.
Much love, su
____________________________________
I’m happy to announce that this is a perfect moment. It’s a perfect moment for many reasons, but especially because I have been inspired to say a gigantic prayer for all of you. I’ve been roused to unleash a divinely greedy, apocalyptically healing prayer for each and every one of you — even those of you who don’t believe in the power of prayer.
And so I am starting to pray right now to the God of Gods … the God beyond all Gods … the Girlfriend of God … the Teacher of God … the Goddess who invented God.
Dear Goddess, You who never kill but only change:
I pray that my exuberant, suave and accidental words will move you to shower ferocious blessings down on everyone who reads this benediction.
I pray that you will give them what they don’t even know they want — not just the boons they think they need but everything they’ve always been afraid to even imagine or ask for.
Dear Goddess, You wealthy anarchist burning heaven to the ground:
Many of the divine chameleons out there don’t even know that their souls will live forever. So please use your blinding magic to help them see that they are all wildly creative geniuses too big for their own personalities.
Guide them to realize that they are all completely different from what they think they are and more exciting than they can possibly imagine.
Make it illegal, immoral, irrelevant, unpatriotic and totally tasteless for them to be in love with anyone or anything that’s no good for them.
O Goddess, You who give us so much love and pain mixed together that our morality is always on the verge of collapsing:
I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will nullify all the dumb ideas, bad decisions and nasty conditioning that have ever cursed the wise and sexy virtuosos out there.
Remove, banish, annihilate and laugh into oblivion any jinx that has clung to them, no matter how long they’ve suffered from it, and even if they’ve become accustomed or addicted to its ugly companionship.
And please conjure an aura of protection around them so that they will receive an early warning if they are ever about to act in such a way as to bring another hex or plague or voodoo into their lives in the future.
Dear Goddess, sweet Goddess, You sly universal virus with no fucking opinion:
I pray that you will help all the personal growth addicts out there become disciplined enough to go crazy in the name of creation, not destruction.
I pray that you will teach them the difference between oppressive self-control and liberating self-control, awaken in them the power to do the half-right thing when it is impossible to do the totally right thing.
Arouse the Wild Woman within them — even if they’re men.
And please give them bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.
Dear Goddess, You pregnant slut who scorns all mediocre longing:
I pray that you will inspire all the compassionate rascals communing with this prayer to love their enemies just in case their friends turn out to be jerks.
Provoke them to throw away or give away all the things they own that encourage them to believe that they are better than anyone else.
Show them how much fun it is to brag about what they cannot do and do not have.
Most of all, Goddess, brainwash them with your freedom so that they never love their own pain more than anyone else’s pain.
Dear Goddess, You psychedelic mushroom cloud at the center of all our brains:
The curiously divine human beings reading this prayer deserve everything they are yearning for and much, much more.
So please bless them with lucid dreams while they are wide awake and solar-energy-operated sex toys that work even in the dark and vacuum cleaners for their magic carpets and a knack for avoiding other people’s hells and their very own 900 number so that everyone has to pay to talk to them and a secret admirer who is not a psychotic stalker.
Dear Goddess, You fiercely tender, hauntingly reassuring, orgiastically sacred feeling that is even now running through all of our soft, warm animal bodies:
I pray that you provide everyone out there with a license to bend and even break all rules, laws and traditions that keep them apart from the things they love.
Show them how to purge the wishy-washy wishes that distract them from their daring, dramatic, divine desires.
And teach them that they can have anything they want if they’ll only ask for it in an unselfish way.
And now dear God of Gods, God beyond all Gods, Girlfriend of God, Teacher of God, Goddess who invented God, I bring this prayer to a close, trusting that in these mysterious moments you have begun to change everyone out there in the exact way they’ve needed to change in order to express their soul’s code.
Amen. Awomen. And glory halle-fucking-lujah.
How to birth a dream
I know it might sound a bit dramatic but “birthing” does seem an appropriate term for watching this dream of mine come to fruition.
In January of 2012, I began writing a business plan for a new art gallery in the Downtown Canton Arts District. It seemed the next logical step in growth for my art business. I imagined at that point that the gallery would open in June of 2012. I presented the concept to the local arts council and the chamber of commerce and both agreed that the idea was solid and the timeframe would work.
Ah… we all had so much to learn. Everyone started… gathering info and support. Investors were approached, funding researched. And everyone did their job well… it’s just that there were a whole lot of jobs to do and a huge number of people involved. Appreciation of the number of tasks and people needed to make a huge project happen is my lesson. See, rather than opening in June of 2012, I am very hopeful that we will open in June of 2013… just one year late! Now this might sound awful to you but I’m not complaining. Work progressed one logical step at a time. Decisions were made in the order they came up. It all just took a lot longer than we thought.
The good news is that no one gave up. No one really got terribly upset… we just kept plugging along. Granted there were times when I wanted to scream, jump up and down and have a tantrum… but tantrums don’t help people. They might feel good for a brief moment to the one throwing said tantrum but to the rest of the audience… well, you’ve been there, I’m sure. So I tried patience and discovered that instead of focusing on what wasn’t happening according to my plan, I could spend my time taking care of details that I hadn’t even imagined when I wrote that first plan. I learned that I have plenty to learn about this new business and that education will continue, I’m sure for years to come.
My gallery became “our” gallery because so many people got involved in the project. There are a few who are instrumental in this success… and there are many who might have just offered a pat on the back… and many somewhere in between but all were important. Jeff Dreyer and Mac Worthington were there at the beginning and have continued to encourage me all this time. Mike Gill at the Chamber/SID and Robb Hankins with ArtsInStark sat through my first presentation of the business plan and both have worked hard in so many ways through this whole process. Bad Girl Ventures, Cleveland, boosted me to a whole new level in so many ways. And there are innumerable people, some whose names I don’t even know, who did important jobs all along the way. My gratitude grows daily. I think I learned a lot about being a team player, about asking for help when needed, about holding my tongue, and trying patience and peace.
So at times it was painful and it took a long time… but this little dream has grown, blossomed and struggled its way into reality. The work isn’t done… but I’m very impressed and hopeful at what can be accomplished when you dream beautifully, don’t give up and take the patient, peaceful path. If you have a dream, and of course you do, remember that you must never give up on it… just keep visualizing that dreams do come true. Then work crazy hard and ask for help to make it happen.
Hopefully, next month, you’ll get to see photos of our new “baby.” Then the parties will begin. Welcome Journey Art Gallery, a creative destination in north east Ohio.
JourneyArtGallery.com