Today, I’m nudged to chat about something you’re not going to like. It’s time for me to suggest that you quit feeling that you have the right to tell other people what to do.
What? Yes, I believe that you don’t have the information needed to tell anyone else how to behave. Now, if someone is mashing your toes with a rock, yes, of course, you find a way to stop them. But I’m more interested in the fascination we seem to have with “them.” “You know what they should do?” “How can they not see it my way?”
I’m saving myself a lot of stress and anxiety by striving to adopt the viewpoint that I do not know what anyone else should do. This revelation is based in the fact that I detest it when someone tells me, “You know what you should do…” it caused the muscles in my upper back to tighten and if the speaker is really insistent, that muscle in my cheek will start to twitch. Do you know the feeling?
Why is it so easy to feel indignant when someone else suggests how we might direct our lives yet in the next sentence, we’re sure we know what others should do. I had a conversation this morning with a dear friend about vaccines. I shared that I am embracing the idea that I can’t know what everyone should do as far as getting a vaccine. I know that my intuition told me, “Go now!” but others have very different viewpoints. They might have physical conditions, a distrust of the development of the vaccines, they might have fears I don’t really understand or want to know about… regardless, I am trying to grow into the reality that I don’t know what others should do beyond hoping they approach life with love.
When we decide that we can tell others what to do… we are basically saying, “I’m smarter than you, I know more than you, my perspective is the only perspective” and when I explain our director tendencies this way, maybe you might want to step back a bit? Maybe not.
This matters so much to me because (from my perspective, grin) each of us is a unique individual. We have strengths, gifts, weaknesses and karma to work out in our lives. We came here for a unique purpose, a mission that only we can do. Our focus in life is to be sure we are paying attention to our unique role and try to live our life so that our purpose is fulfilled… end of karma? No one but me can know what my purpose is. My purpose is different from yours. We’re not cookie cutter little lemming soldiers marching in step thru life. We are vastly different humans, spirit in a physical body, here to help the world elevate in some way.
You can tell me what to do but that direction is based on your experience, your history, your purpose. You can only direct me to be like you… because you can’t see the “game plan” that my spirit came to earth to express. You might want what seems best for me… but that’s all based on your perspective, which truly only applies to you. You may want me to do certain things so I stay safe or healthy or make a lot of money, but my path might call for something entirely different. And if I follow your direction, my purpose in life is left unfulfilled… I never get to be me.
This quote from Martha Graham comes to mind. I’ve shared a shortened version of it but this is more of her complete thought.
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”
― Martha Graham
I find it easy to begin not telling others how they should behave because honestly, it takes all my attention to just realize my purpose, to hear from within what I am here for. Turning within is frightening to some, as we’re taught by the labels society has slapped on us, that somehow we’re inadequate, bad, damaged goods. Afraid to look within, we busy ourselves directing everyone else… keeping our focus outside of ourselves. Truth is… beneath those labels you fear, you will find within a very, sweet pure essence… you will find spirit. You’ll also probably find a small child version of you who is hiding from the world because the action of expressing the real you got squashed many years ago.
We’re all grown up now. We can take a deep breath and take a loving look at ourselves. We might see that label that some teacher slapped on us that says “slow learner.” Peel it off, you just learn differently. You might find the label that says “doesn’t play well with others. “ Rip that baby off and accept that you just wanted to play a different game. Take the time to look within and remember what you were passionate about as a child. Those passions are often a key to your purpose here in the world.
Take to time breathe, to slow down and look within with love. It keeps your attention on that one person in life who can direct well. Seek within to find what you should do, who you wish to be in life, then devote your energy to being that you in love and with light.
Love is our only path.
have fun!
suni